Abigail Jayne Jordan

Abigail means "Joy of the Father"

This is what I wrote on Abigail's caring bridge site yesterday...If you don't know Abigail then you are missing out on one of God's greatest gifts. Abigail is 2 years old and was born with the deletion of the 8th chromosome but she is striving and improving everyday. If you have the time...please take the time to read how God has worked in my life through Abigail....

Hey Everyone...My name is Brooke Outland and I am filling in for Gentry today to share with all of you what God has put on my heart about Abigail. Matt and Gentry graciously allowed me to live with them for the past six and a half months while I attended Massage Therapy School...little did I know that my life would be changed for the better by the most amazing 2 year old on the face of the planet. I am a Young Life kid from LaGrange, Ga and Matt and Gentry were my leaders. I am so blessed to still be close to them 8 years later and so blessed that they have allowed me to be a huge part of Olivia and Abigail's life. My life has increased with more love and compassion than I could ever imagine since living in the Jordan home. Matt and Gentry are the most humble people in the world and wouldn't want me bragging on them but I have to for just a second before a share how Abigail has touched and continues to touch my life in incredible ways. There are no words to express the love that Matt and Gentry have for their children and for each other. You really get to know someone when you live with them and my experience here has been one of the best experiences of my life. Their house is full of love, laughter, and doing everything in their power to do what is best for both Abigail and Olivia. They have overcome struggles and trials that only some of us could dream of and they have been able to grow in their faith and become a stronger family through it all. I am sure you all know but the name Abigail means...Joy of the Father! They picked a perfect name for her but "Joy of the Father" describes their family as well. I believe God says everyday to the Jordan family..."well done my good and faithful servants."

Yesterday I came back to visit for a few days and had one of the most amazing nights of my life and am honored to be able to share it with all of you.

-What if the meaning of special needs is not a label for children who are born with difficulties...what if the term special needs is for us people who label ourselves as "normal" so that we realize that we NEED these SPECIAL children.

-Abigail knows how to soar on the wind of God's presence...she knows that as she soars, the wind is simply the incredible whisper of the creator of the Universe...who knitted and created Abigail PERFECTLY in Gentry's womb.

A Night I Will Never Forget: Tonight is January 19th or rather it is the morning of January 20th because I am still wide awake at 4:23am and thinking about my conversation I had tonight with Gentry about the greatest kid in the world...Abigail Jayne Jordan. We had a long conversation about a book that is absolutely amazing and everyone should read it...it is called... "Just the Way I Am" by Krista Horning. Gentry and Mat went to bed long before I did and I just went downstairs to take a peep at Abigail sleeping so soundly and peacefully in her crib. As I walked into the room, I felt the presence of God so heavy around her crib, His presence so heavy to where I had to fall on my knees and thank Him for the amazing life that Abigail leads. I started to weep and to beg God to help me to become more and more like Abigail. As I gathered up enough strength to pull myself back on my feet...I gently kissed her soft curly hair and headed back upstairs to my room. I layed in my bed with a peace beyond understanding in my heart and a smile on my face as I continued to wipe tears away.

God reminded me of 1 Corinthians 12 so I looked it up and began to read it, I didn't just read it this time, I took in the breathe of the living God that comes from His word. I saw the scripture in a new light and thanked God for allowing me to be a daughter of the King so that I can have access to His living word....although, I so often take it for granted. You may wonder why I begged God to help me to become more like Abigail and it's a simple answer...as I read 1 Corinthians 12...which explains that we as Christians all work together to form the body of Christ...some the hands of Christ, some the feet of Christ, some the eyes of Christ, etc... It took me a blink of an eye and and a second to wipe off the remaining tears streaming down my face to realize what I have always known and that is that the part of Christ that Abigail makes up is not His hands or His feet...but the very heart of Christ.

Abigail is the heart of Jesus Christ. Oh how I long to beat to the same drum as the heart of Christ. Abigail carries God's presence and I feel closer to God when I am with her. She may not have 20/20 vision or anywhere close to that, she may not be able to walk yet, and her little ears hurt her a lot which makes it hard to hear well but she is closer to God than any of us ever thought of being. Abigail understands that where she is weak...God is strong. I have sang the song "Jesus Loves Me" a million times in my life but as I sang it to her tonight as she slept under the covering, strength, and protection of Christ...it took on a whole new meaning..."Little ones to Him belong, for they are weak but He is strong." I think that we have all gone through plenty of times in our lives where we relied on our own strength, where we purposefully ignored God and went on our merry way only to find ourselves defeated by the world once again. If we would just realize that God is our strength and all we have to do is soar on His wings like eagles then maybe we wouldn't be so tired and weary all of the time.

Abigail knows how to soar on the wind of God's presence...she knows that as she soars, the wind is simply the incredible whisper of the creator of the Universe...who knitted and created Abigail PERFECTLY in Gentry's womb. She is the happiest child, always smiling, always laughing, always loving, always full of joy, and always moving to the beat of God's heart. I know that I can speak for many of us when I say that we as Christians get so caught up in all the noise and busyness of this world. Unlike Abigail...we can see, hear, and walk very well and even though we classify ourselves as "normal" and we think that people with special needs have the issues...I believe with all my heart that Abigail is the "normal" one and that we are the ones with the issues.

Unlike Abigail...we can walk by ourselves and often take the wrong paths to get to where WE think we should be, unlike Abigail...we can see all that is going on around us and often we look to all of the wrong things, people, and places to make us happy, unlike Abigail...we can hear well and this world is just filled with constant noise that blocks out the gentle voice of God. It is easy to wonder why God would make Abigail this way or for people to think that the sins of her ancestors may have made her this way but if you know Abigail personally...you know that God made no mistakes as he created this beautiful child. He used PRECISE knitting and created her for an incredible purpose which she fulfills everyday.

I know that God looks at His daughter Abigail and delights in how perfect and pure and loving she is, I know that He looks at His daughter and delights in the way that she is filled with joy even through multiple surgeries since birth which included hip surgery recently, and I know his heart smiles as He watches her play and talk and sing through the hard times and the good times. How many times do we complain about all of the hard times we are going through or refuse to smile throughout the day because things are not going our way. I have many nicknames for Abigail (some include: Abigabagoo, Gaba, Ba Ba, Swiper) but one that holds true is "Little Trooper". I lived with the Jordan's while Abigail had hip surgery. I have never seen a kid endure so much at such a young age and just keep living life like she always has. She is way stronger and more confident in who she is than I will ever be. I mean if I had hip surgery, I would be crying and complaing every second of everyday but not Little Trooper...she just keeps on keeping on. Seriously...I stumped my toe the other day and complained about it for two days straight.

As I was on my knees in Abigail's room tonight...I believe that God gave me her ears and shut out the world's noise just long enough for me to be able to hear Him the way that she does. I believe that God filled my eyes with so many tears so I could barely see which showed me how to see through Abigail's eyes. I believe He knocked me to my knees so that I could not walk so that I would learn how to surrender to God and be totally dependent on Him.

Those moments in her annointed room tonight brought me to a new place in my faith...I long to be totally dependent on God daily instead of trying to live life my own way. I long for my God to look upon me everyday and delight in me because I have done His will. I long to be pure in heart like Abigail, I long to love unconditionally like Abigail, I long to have discipline and motivation that this 2 year old has so that I can strive to see, hear, and follow God daily, I long to be still and know that He is God and to gaze upon His beauty as Abigail does everyday. I am far from any of this but Abigail gets it and she lives out the will of her Father everyday and that is why I beg to become more and more like Abigail Jordan...the beautiful and perfect child that is in sync with the heart of our amazing God.

The two greatest commandments are to love the Lord God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. Can people look at your life and say..."now that person right there lives out the two greatest commandments of all times without question". I can say that about Abigail with no hesitation...she is love and God is love and she is so close to the heart of God that her heart beats along with His. Oh how I long to be like this precious child. I say all this not only to help people to know and understand Abigail but also to bring to our attention that we all should be quick to love and not to judge, we should be quick to listen to God instead of hurry about our day following our own thoughts, we should be quick to allow God to knock us on our knees instead of wobbling on our own two feet until we come crashing down, we should see people and situations through God's eyes and not our own, we should be quick to thank God instead of complaining, we should accept anyone and everyone who is different because quite frankly....no one is the same and judging a book by it's cover is shallow and unacceptable.

Embrace the people around you, embrace people who look different, act different, and think different...God has precisely made each of us just as He would have us to be and you never know what may happen by taking the time to embrace the differences of other people or to form a relationship with someone who you may never have thought to take the time to get to know or to be friends with. I can not imagine my life without staying here at the Jordan's for six and a half months, I can not imagine my life having not been able to watch God work in Abigail's life and in their home daily, and I can not imagine not being loved and touched so deeply by Abigail who is closest to the heart of God than anyone I have ever met.

As I sit here tonight and think, I wonder...What if Gentry would have never taken the time to get to know me in high school? I thank God that she did, I thank God that we stayed best friends through my college years, I thank God that she has always been here for me through the thick and the thin, I thank God for her faith that grows stronger everday, I thank God that Gentry and Matt allowed me to live in their home and to be a part of their lives and the lives of their children, and I thank God that one of my best friends in the whole world is a two year old little girl who has changed my life in ways that I could never imagine. God is going to show off with Abigabagoo...just wait and see...He already has and I can't wait to see what else He has in store for her amazing life.

Tonight at Dinner...Gentry and I were talking about my adoption and I reminded her that I said I would take twins because I don't want to seperate twins and she asked me what I would do if they gave me twins with special needs...I hesitated for a second with my words but in my heart I already knew my answer...YES I would take them! I have heard so many people say before and I used to say it too..."I don't care if it's a boy or a girl just as long as the baby is healthy"....but what if the meaning of special needs is not a label for children who are born with difficulties...what if the term special needs is for us people who label ourselves as "normal" so that we realize that we NEED these SPECIAL children.

Thanks to everyone who cares for Abigail and the Jordan family and thanks for all of your prayers. My prayer for all of you reading this blog is that you get to know Abigail on a personal level or that you get to know amazing children like Abigail because children close to the heart of God will change your life for the better and you will never be the same